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Sunday, June 20th, 2010
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1:37 am - Oh YUCK
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I think I have a summer cold. My nose is runny and my throat is sore. This screws up all of my social plans for the next few days. I am now going to be stuck in the house with mom and dad. I'm sure they will bitch at me and claim I am faking so I don't have to work. Fuck them!
current mood:  sick
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| Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
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12:08 am - Time goes on!
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I always think I am going to post more than I do. I read a lot of blogs on here, but I am afriad of friending people. Afraid they won't like me. Some days I don't like myself.
I still live with my parents, which sucks, but at least I have a boyfriend now. He's a lot nicer than my ex-husband and he and I like some of the same things. We both like to party!
It is hot here this summer. I hate sweating and here I have a job that makes me go outside. It's a waitress job and it doesn't pay all that great, but it keeps my parents off my ass.
I keep hoping that Dustin, my bf will ask me to move in with him. Maybe in time.
current mood:  blah
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| Sunday, January 11th, 2009
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12:23 pm - My New Year Resolution
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My New Year Resolution was to post here every day and you can see how well I have done. I'm still working my crappy job and living with my crappy parents and there's really nothing new to report.
Is it a bad thing I am looking forward to the new TV season. I think it speaks volumes about the quallity of my life right now.
current mood:  contemplative
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| Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
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12:57 pm - I wish I was going...
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Some of my friends are going to Comic Con International in San Diego this year. I wish I could go but I don't have the money. It looks like fun, and there sure are a lot of cute guys in the photos I see online.
Maybe I can start saving money for next year, if my stupid parents don't take it all in rent money:(
current mood:  disappointed
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2008
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7:25 pm - A kickass art project!
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| Sunday, April 27th, 2008
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12:10 am - Bored and Lonely
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It's been a while since I posted, guess I've been depressed. I have a job, but it's a fast food job and its only part time and I hate it. I feel it sucking the life blood out of me but I'm too depressed to go looking for another one right now. The wages are awful, the place is busy and the uniform sucks.
At least my parents rae happy I have a job.
I don't have a bf either and I'm lonely. I don't have much money to go out and find anyone. My bff is in Oklahoma City and sometimes its hard to connect with her. Do online dating services work? I might spend the money if it would bring me someone who would really care about me, the real me.
My soul is crying inwardly and I don't know what to do. Other people my age are married and having families. I've already failed at marriage and right now I feel like I've failed at life. Something has got to change but I am unsure of what it needs to be.
Do we ever know what we want to be when we grow up? When do we grow up anyway? And when do we become happy? These are questions for the ages. I have no answers.
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| Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
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11:52 pm - More Job Hunting
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I have been looking for a job, but the economy sux. It's all Bushs fault! I apply places but they don't call me back and if they do, they want more experience than I have or something. I've had a couple of interviews and I swear you'd think I'd have a job by now. I dress up nice too I don't do in looking sloppy.
Maybe some of the places I applied this week will call me. I think about going back to college but theres nothing their that interests me..well, except the parties and men. Hahaha.
Srly, why can't I get hired somewhere? My parents are getting pissed.
current mood:  distressed
current music: Marilyn My Bitterness The Cruxshadows
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| Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
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8:13 am - Still looking...
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Still looking for a job. Might have to apply retail. So don't want to do that, but I have to find some kind of job or my parents might kick me out. Ugh, I hate getting dressed up and going out and filling out applications. Sux, I tell you, sux!
I'm even trying to look proffesional by wearing high hells. I usually ownly wear those when I'm out on the prowl...rawrrr! I tell myself once I get employed I can go out to bars again and meet people cause I'll have some dough. The money would be nice, I'm just afraid of what I am gonna have to do to earn it.
current mood: anxious
current music: Apoptygma Bezerk Paranoia
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| Sunday, January 6th, 2008
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4:52 pm - Job Hunting...
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I hate it, but I'm out putting in my applications. I don't want to work fast food, so I'm trying nicer places and also putting my applications at temperary agencies. I want to be a secretary that would be cool. I can type and use microsoft word. I'm friendly, too, so I think I could do a good job.
So far, not much luck yet. At least my parents aren't bitching at me today, but then they've spent the morning in church.
I went through the want ads today and sent in some resumes. Maybe something will come of it.
current mood:  hopeful
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| Monday, December 31st, 2007
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11:28 pm - I am so lonely...
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Tonight I am alone in the house. How come my PARENTS have somewhere to go and I sit here, alone. Is that fair, I ask you?
I'd go over to The Church, but I can't afford t he gas. Why does gas have to cost so much? Bush sux.
I tried ccalling my firend Kara in Oklahoma City, but she's not home. I am glad someone has a life. Maybe Is hould move up there with her.
I hate bourbun but I'm sitting here drinking it because that's what my parents have in the house. Maybe I'll just get wasted and pass out.
Why does TV have to suck tonight, too?
I sure hope that's firecrackers and not gunfire.
Happy New Years.
current mood:  depressed
current music: Round Here, The Counting Crows
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| Tuesday, December 25th, 2007
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4:56 pm - OMG OMG OMG!
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I got a Wii! A WII!!! I can't believe my parents bought it for me! They got me an extra controller too, so I can play with friends.
And Spiro the Dragon. I have a game, too. I'm so excited and happy.
I can't BEEEEEELLEIVE it!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
current mood: happy
current music: South Park's Merry Fucking Christmas
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| Monday, December 24th, 2007
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12:28 pm - Sick, yuck!
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I've got some sort of virus that makes it hard for me to breath and I'm coughing. This is not the way I want to spend Xmas!
I did go to the pawn shop and sell some stuff so I would have money for presents. I bought gifts for my mom, dad, and doofus brother and his skanky wife. I hope they like them.
Mom's bitching at me because I'm not helping clean up today. I'm SICK, what am I supposed to do? OMG, some days I think living on the street would be easier.
current mood: crappy
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| Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
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9:55 pm - My So Called Life
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I'm hoping I get a Wii for Christmas. I don't know if my parents will get me one orr not. They aren't very happy with me and I'm not helping matters by snapping at them when they get on my back about finding a job.
Bleh! I'll have new resalutions for the new year! Like maybe a boyfriend:)
It would help if I didn't live in the deadest place in the country! There's nothing to do here except to go downtown to eat or to the movies. If I want to do anything cool, I have to go to Dallas. Then my parents bitch about gas being so explensive. Ugh! just once, just once, I wish they'd say something snotty to my never do anything wrong brother! I'd laugh my ass off if they did.
current mood: gloomy
current music: Round Here, Counting Crows
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| Thursday, December 13th, 2007
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5:44 pm - Blah blah blah!
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I wish my parents would get off my ass about getting a job! I don't want to work retail at Christmas, DUH! They seem to think that I do nothing around here, ignoring all the work I do around the house. I feel very under appreciated. It doesn't help that my younger brother is some sort of wiz kid. He's got the college degee and the high paying job...while I have nothing. Oh, they love to bring that up to me, they do. I'm sick of it, I'm really sick of it. I wish I could move out, but I can't right now.
I tell myself that after Christmas, I'll start looking for a job. I'll quit hanging around the net all day, talking on AIM and reading fan fic. I should be motivated, because living with my parents is driving me nuts!
If only I was still married to Mike. But he's a real unfeeling bastard and I tell myself I'm well shut of him. I don't know, though...after that blow up with my parents last night, even Mike starts to look good.
I am over Mike, aren't I? He was history 2 years ago. Yeah, I know I cheated and I was wrong, but it seems to me we could have worked it out. He didn't want to though and I wasn't going to degrade myself by begging. Women are oppressed enough by the male establishment as it is! I'm not going to be anyone's doormat.
Still, I wonder if I should email him. I haven't really talked to him since the divorce was final. Maybe if I emailed him and told him I was sorry, we might be able to be friends again. Maybe if we're friends again it could lead to something more, and I could get out of this damn house.
Aw, it's just desperation talking! I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm 27 and I don't know what I want. Do I go to school, and if I do, what do I want to major in? My math skills suck and I don't think majoring in English will get me anywhere. What kind of career would I like? All I really ever wanted to do was to get married to that special boy and have children. That fairy tale went out the window with Mike. Do I work? I'm not really skilled at anything, unless what you do in the bedroom counts, and that's illegal...haha. Do I want to find a steady boyfriend? Do I, and dare I say it? Want to find a girlfriend? I don't know what I want, with anything:(
And it doesn't help that my parents are on my case all the time about it, either. I just want to find myself. Reclaim myself. Like myself again. And develop some sort of plan that enables me to get out of this house so I can live my life without a lot of blathering from the unsupportive people who raised me.
current mood:  confused
current music: Don't Let Me Get Me-Pink
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| Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
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10:36 am - Meme thingie
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Your Score: Very GothYou scored 61!You're a Goth. Whether you admit it freely or not there is no denying it. You love the stuff and can't get enough. You decorate your living space in a way that is part morbid part chaotic.I'm sure your music is mostly Goth/Industrial/Darkwave. Wherever you go you're probably dressed mostly in black.Not only do you know who Switchblade Symphony is, you own every CD and EP they ever put out. Your dream profession is definatly something that benifits goths-Tattoo artist, goth DJ, freelance Gothic artist, Gothy comic creator ect.ect.ect...
current mood:  moody
current music: Marilyn, My Bitterness The Cruxshadows
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9:03 am
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Here I am! I'm really tired of the myspace scene and all the troubles over in Greatest Journal. I've decided to make a fresh start here!
OMG, I don't know where to begin! I guess I'd better think before I post. Not thinking has gotten me into trouble and drama before.
Stay tuned!
current mood: chipper
current music: Dragula by Rob Zombie
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bouncy
